Fight or Flight
To this day, I have never walked into Mass because I wanted to. I attend mass because of a sense of obligation, feeling that if I did not go, I would regret it. This regret is not due to some threat that I would be condemned to eternal damnation but that I would miss out. I know this is true because once I do fight the resistances instilled from my childhood – resenting being forced to go to some boring lecture with no guidance – I participate with a full heart. Once inside, I experience a love when I sing the songs, I feel an uplifting joy in the music and I strive to listen, really listen. This means taking the insight and not just apply the knowledge of truth to the troubled world at large as if I am innocent of such charges. But that whatever I might find right or wrong externally is perhaps something I should apply to myself internally.